Crossing a New Threshold
Downsizing When You Move
By LYNN PRIBUS
First it’s a little apartment, next a “starter” home,
then a house big enough for children. Eventually, for any number of
reasons, it’s time for smaller quarters, but it isn’t always
easy—practically or emotionally.
“It’s crossing a threshold,” says Sue Ronnenkamp, author of a guidebook
called “Living Transitions: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Later Life Move.”
“It’s letting go and preparing for a different phase of life.”
That “letting go” often involves reducing possessions. While we
routinely acquire and dispose of items from strollers to golf carts,
it’s a different matter in later life for a number of
not-always-recognized reasons.
It’s Hard to Part With Things
It’s easy to dispose of some belongings, but not others, because of an
emotional impact. “Some things,” notes David J. Ekerdt, Ph.D., director
of the Gerontology Center at the University of Kansas, “are functional
or give us pleasure. Others represent memories.”
The big platter recalls Mom presiding over the Thanksgiving turkey with
all the family there. Dad’s old film camera represents wonderful trips
to faraway places. Parting with these things is like giving away a piece
of our selves.
In addition, many people feel a moral responsibility to their family
archives, preserving old photos, medals, diaries, citizenship papers and
similar memorabilia.
Getting Started
Begin early, urges Linda Hetzer, co-author with Janet Hulstrand of
“Moving On: A Practical Guide to Downsizing the Family Home.” “When it’s
time to do it, it’s almost too late to start and most people have no
clue of the enormity of the project.”
She advises starting with things that don’t have an emotional impact.
“One kitchen drawer is a good thing to go through. Clear off a shelf
next and soon you’ll find yourself building momentum.”
Another excellent tactic is to give to-be-inherited items—a special
teapot or certain painting—when you can still see people enjoy them.
Even if you aren’t moving soon, consider the future. If you’re replacing
furniture, for instance, consider how it might fit in smaller home.
When the Time Comes
After gifting friends and family members with suitable items, the next
step is usually selling things. Some people find it painful to see
strangers handling and haggling over their belongings while others enjoy
meeting the individuals who are “adopting” items. Hold a garage sale, or
engage a professional for larger items.
There are also on-line auctions such as eBay, and you may find a local
business that deals with eBay for you. Craigslist offers free on-line
ads of items for sale, for donation or for free and offers privacy,
since replies are forwarded to your e-mail without the responder knowing
your e-address or phone number.
Many people enjoy donating items to charities. Intuit offers a free
on-line version of It’s Deductible, a program that keeps track of
donations of both cash and items, providing IRS-accepted values for
everything from books to belt buckles.
Throwing things away can be the hardest of all. In fact, Ekerdt reports
that many people give items to their children, knowing full well they’ll
be discarded.
Tough decisions need to be made, but Ekerdt says, “Right down the line,
all the people I’ve talked to are really happy they were able to
complete the process.” While they miss some things, he adds, they are
pleased with an easier way of life.
“Lightening your load is freeing,” affirms Cheryl Perlitz, a Chicago
woman who once surveyed about 1000 people who lived to be 100. “By far
the most common trait,” she reports, “was their ability to go through
change with an optimistic attitude.”
She admits that moving is a difficult threshold to cross. “For a while
you are between two doors—the door that was and the one that will be—but
you can find a whole world of possibility.”
Resources
A wealth of information on downsizing is available,
including how to get things appraised, pointers on selling, where to
donate and more. The books below include useful checklists and are well
worth reading, in addition to the Web resources.
Living Transitions: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Later
Life Move
By Sue Ronnenkamp
www.livingtransitions.com
Moving On: A Practical Guide to Downsizing the Family
Home
By Linda Hetzer and Janet Hulstrand
www.movingonthebook.com
Cheryl Perlitz offers suggestions for coping with
change and loss.
www.soarwithme.com
Intuit makes software for recording charitable
donations.
www.itsdeductible.com
Craigslist provides free classified-style ads.
richmond.craigslist.org
charlottesville.craigslist.org
fredericksburg.craigslist.org
Lynn Pribus and her husband spent many months of
hard work downsizing from a large California home where they’d lived
more than 25 years to the much smaller dwelling in Charlottesville which
they moved into a year ago.
