% '------------------------------------------------------------ ' This function finds the last date of the given month '------------------------------------------------------------ Function GetLastDay(intMonthNum, intYearNum) Dim dNextStart If CInt(intMonthNum) = 12 Then dNextStart = CDate( "1/1/" & intYearNum) Else dNextStart = CDate(intMonthNum + 1 & "/1/" & intYearNum) End If GetLastDay = Day(dNextStart - 1) End Function '------------------------------------------------------------------------- ' This routine prints the individual table divisions for days of the month '------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sub Write_TD(sValue, sClass) Response.Write "

Exploits for the Dog Days
August is the time of year when the days are long and
steamy and the kids are restless and whiny. To help you get through the rest
of your summer, I have consulted with a highly specialized team of Summer
Fun Experts, a.k.a. my kids.
They are experts at wreaking havoc… I mean…creating fun activities using
simple household items. I’ve compiled a list of their most recent escapades…
I mean… Summer Fun Activities.
1. Hide the Dog Food Bowl
Summer Fun Expert #3 is obsessed with dog food. Every day, Experts #1 and #2
are dispatched on a quest to find the newest location of the dog’s bowl.
2. 52,000 Pick-Up
In this dog food game, Expert #3 dumps the bite-sized food onto the floor
and runs around while Experts #1 and #2 throw the dog food back in the bowl.
3. Tattoo
Parlor – Sidewalk Chalk Version
Expert #1 likes to paint her co-expert’s eyelids,
cheeks and fingernails with sidewalk chalk and pretend it’s make-up.
4. Tattoo Parlor – Stamp
Pad Version
Expert #2 likes to use a stamp pad—without
the stampers—to decorate Expert #3. This results in #3’s body being covered
with bright blue rectangles. (Blue bathwater is an added bonus.)
5. Tattoo Parlor – Magic
Marker Version
Expert #3 enhances her natural beauty by drawing all
over her face, arms and legs with markers.
6. Naked Tag
Expert #3 strips down and runs away while #1 and #2
chase her.
7. Potty Mouth
Experts #1, #2 and #3 love using bathroom words in various combinations. For
example, #3’s favorite is “Poo-poo potty head.” This game is now played in
the bathroom since we instituted their preschool rule, “Potty words can only
be said in the bathroom.”
8. Steal the Snacks
(Insert “Mission: Impossible” theme song.) Expert #2 likes to sneak down the
stairs, slip into the kitchen and seize forbidden snacks to carry back
upstairs to Experts #1 and #3.
9. Kill the Spider Web
Expert #2 uses the garden hose to vanquish the evil spider web that hangs
over the kitchen windows. When my windows are open, my kitchen floor gets a
much-needed bath.
10. Stick ‘Em Up
Expert #3 covers her entire body with stickers or Band-Aids.
Colleen R. Lee lives in the Frumpy Zone with her husband and Summer Fun Experts #1 (age 8), #2 (age 4), and #3 (age 3). She believes that one day her children are going to open up a tattoo parlor.