Richmond Parents Monthly | Family Magazine

the frumpy zone by colleen r. lee

The Frumpy Zone is shifting, tilting on its axis. If I were a theologian I might perhaps think that Armageddon was near.
What has happened to make me so wary? I was able to find a mate for every single sock in my laundry basket this morning!
(I’ll pause for a moment to allow this amazing feat to sink in.…)

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! I don’t think this has ever happened before—at least, not since I had to start buying baby booties.
Usually after folding the last piece of laundry, I’ll look into the bottom of my basket at the leftovers: a few used-up drier sheets, long lint-covered strings, two marbles, a piece of bubble gum (miraculously in its wrapper) and about twenty-two-and-a-half mismatched socks.
Where do the socks go? Do they decide that the grass is greener on the other side of the dryer? Perhaps, like Dr. Seuss’s Sneetches, they’ve learned that conforming is bad, so they want to be paired with a sock of a different color. Or is my lint screen an evil monster that devours socks at random, leaving me to discard their linty remains?
I have tried everything to keep our socks alive and happily matched. I’ve given the kids their own laundry baskets, washed socks in separate loads, even resorted to putting all mate-less socks in a basket which I periodically check for matches.
But somehow the Black Hole at the center of the spin cycle keeps claiming more victims.
So, when out of the blue, I am folding my laundry and every sock has a mate, I am stunned, even shaky. Finding the correct mate for all of my socks just doesn’t happen in the Frumpy Zone. What does this mean?
Could it be that life as I know it will end? What’s next? Walls without crayon marks?
Perhaps I am finally adjusting to life in the Frumpy Zone. Or perhaps in honor of Valentine’s Day, the socks decided to forgo their adventures into the Great Beyond, and just stay home wrapped up in a cozy drawer with their mates.

Author’s Note:
Have no fear, the Frumpy Zone is back to normal. The very next day, 12 mismatched socks were reported to be seen hanging out at the bottom of my laundry basket along with five beads, a penny and four Legos.
I can rest easy again.

Richmond-area writer and teacher Colleen R. Lee lives with her husband and three kids in the Frumpy Zone. Visit her at www.thefrumpyzone.blogspot.com

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